The sky is bright purple
And my eyes are bright red
There’s a memory of walking underneath a sunset with my grandma that rings out loud in my head
And I wonder why I constantly train myself to linger at the edge
Or do I linger
Did I not try
Did you not put hands on my shoulders, whisper matured goodbyes and send me backwards
Stumbling as I walk upstairs, rewinding the tape as I undress, wipe off my makeup, throw up the tablets and
curl into my bed like the curse placed upon it will be broke if I rest
Whisper your name with a heartbroken heartbeat drumming each breath
As I struggle to suffocate
Or ask for your hand
Mistakes I keep making seem so simply childish and I’m blaming myself but I’d at least want a hug
Did I give you too much
‘It was just not enough’
You sigh as I stand at your door
A poem on my lips and a knife in my throat
Can you hear my eyes staring wide as I walk back home
If I called you up to say that the sky right now is bright purple would you understand why I’m crying as I talk